Sunday, June 7, 2015

Moms by Bari Demers

Photo Credit : Tianndra Demers

My Mom, like your mom, is the strength leading you forward, preparing us for the highs and lows.  Giving us courage to head into the stormy sea of life, attending to our wounds when we fail.  

On the way, we will make mistakes!

But Mom's are there to encourage you to learn from your mistakes and move on to more challenging adventures.  

This is how I best explain my Mom : 

She was a loving person taking ever caution to protect me, but at the same time, not to baby me.  Moulding me into a respectable man with a loving heart (passed down by the loving care of my mom) who treats everyone as an equal, no matter their race, colour or beliefs.   

My Mom would say," Always treat others like you would like to be treated, respecting each on the strength of their merit."

I remember saying," Merit? I don't understand." 

My Mom told me to always look for the good in people by their actions, good deeds and thoughts.  In short, their merit.

And - 

At the same time, pay close attention to those who may hurt or trick you.  

The world is full of surprises, good and bad.  Take care to find the good in people and dismiss those who are out for personal or financial gain. Become well educated because it's the stepping stone to success, and never be afraid to ask questions, no matter how silly they may seem. 

Growing up, like most boys, I wasn't a little angel.  

In her soothing voice, she would shower me with love, taking the time and effort to explain what I did wrong and why it was wrong.  She would scolded me when I was bad and praise me, when I was good.  Good or bad, her loving hugs would make me into a better person I am today, one step at a time.

Her love and praise carried me throughout my life, appreciating each important lesson along the way.

And now, today, I am plagued with the deepest sorrow, having to say good-bye to my Mom who loved me so much, cared for me so much and hugged me so much. 

The Mom I loved so much was taken from me, from her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.   

Death is inevitable to us all, no matter our status.  It's impartial and far from being personal, even though it's very personal to us. 

Is there life after death ?  

I'm uncertain to know the real truth.   

All I can say for now - Miss you Mom and Love you with all my heart.

Love & by

Bari Demers

Acknowledgement :  June 2015 -  In lovely memory of my Mom, Betty Watts.  Her life was rich and full, dying at 83 years old.  Love you Mom.  Her beginnings were modest, born in a small farm community north of Fort Assiniboine, Alberta, Canada.

Fort Assiniboine originally was a Hudson Bay trading post, marked as a stopping point during the Klondike Gold Rush from 1897 - 1899.

Her mom and dad came to the Great White North to homestead, raising nine children on a parcel of land.  Curiously, her father, Mr. Coley came to Canada from Alabama by train. He left behind the riches in favour for the adventures of homesteading.  Mr. Coley's dad and brother were both doctors, but even though Jim Coley finished university, he had other plans.

The adventures of the Canadian Outdoors and the promise of gold lured him north, seeking to make it on his own, looking for the simplistic outdoor life.  

Raising a family, building a log cabin, tending to the land and livestock may sound romantic, but it was hard work.  

My Mom was the youngest of the siblings, helping out the best she could. At an early age she understood the hardships of homesteading, from tending to the chickens and helping her mom bake homemade bread on an old cast iron stove, fetching the wood to heat the oven.  She said, her mom had a knack of placing in the right amount of wood to get the exact temperature for baking. 

During her school years, she went to a small community log-fashioned schoolhouse, with one teacher looking after 30 students from grade one to nine.  For extra money at pennies a day, Mom would gather firewood and stoke the potbelly stove before the rest of the students arrived for their daily classes. Her routine would start at 4:00 am tending to her chores at home, once again, helping her mom get breakfast ready for the men.  After breakfast, she would walk to school, tending to her paid job. She said it helped the family buy the little extras they couldn't make or afford.

Even though she loved the farm, her sights were set on the big city of Edmonton, Alberta.  Like most women, shopping and the idea of running water and the luxury of flushed toilets, lured her to the city life. 

It wasn't long before our family moved to the Sunny Okanagan, nestled in the small town of Vernon, B.C.  My Mom raised just enough money to purchase the Spudnut Shop ( Spudnut's are like donuts, but made with potato flour) featuring a glass display of fresh Spudnut's that would melt in your mouth.  All the locals would make their daily stop for the illusive Spudnut and coffee for only $0.25.  It wasn't long before my Mom and the famous Spudnut Shop was known throughout the small town of Vernon. 

During this time, she met her soul mate, Peter Watts, who was a regular customer at the Spudnut Shop.  Working for B.C. Hydro, Peter would encourage his team to meet for breakfast, but I think he had alternative reasons.  

Why, my Mom of course 😎

Both fell madly in love with wedding bells ringing there after.  

Throughout my Mom's life, she was adored by others, just because she spent that extra mile to always care for her family and friends, helping out any way she could. 

Her life was full of up and downs, but in the end, it was pure happiness.

When they say Mothers Day is everyday - it's true.

By  Bari Demers / screenwriter & writer